Must All Good Things Come to an End?

It's been a while since I have written. Mostly because I wasn't sure what to write. I got a job. Not just any job. I got a great job.

A few weeks ago I went to two interviews in one day and the company that wanted me was the company I wanted and here I'll be starting in a few weeks. It's been a long, strange trip for sure but one that I wouldn't really trade for anything. I am grateful for the perspective and humility I have found. I am very grateful for the time I have been able to spend with my sister because we were able to re-establish our very special friendship through having a lot of time to talk and to share - although I did end up paying $50 over in my phone bill for all the extra minutes. She's now in my circle/fave5/whatever so it's all ok. I have firmly established myself as the favorite aunt among my nieces and nephews. Mostly, I'm happy that I had so much time to enjoy the summer and I think I did it well.

I'm not sure what I'll do with this blog from here on out but I want to thank anyone that read it because I sincerely have found myself humbled by being so honest and truly stunned by the feedback I have gotten.

So for now, good night and in a few weeks - I'm going to work for an Internet company. I do live in Seattle so it's probably about time that I did.

Everything happens for a reason and other things people say when they have no idea that things may or may not actually get better

"Almost the chief mystery of life is what makes one do things. Let the reader
look back over the path he has traveled and examine searchingly and faithfully
the reasons, impressions, motives, occasions which led him to this or that
decisive step in his career… Small people, casual remarks, and little things
very often shape our lives more powerfully than the deliberate, solemn advice of
great people at critical moments. Men and women as often as not address
themselves to serious emergencies with resolution and with a conscious desire to
choose the best way. But usually in our brief hazardous existence some trifle,
some accident, some quite unexpected and irrelevant fact has laid the board in
such a way as to determine the move we make. We have always to be on our guard
against being thrown off our true course by chance and circumstance; and the
glory of human nature lies in our seeming capacity to exercise conscious control
of our own destiny. In a broad view, large principles, a good heart, high aims,
a firm faith, we may find some charts and a compass for our voyage. Still, as we
lean over the stern of the ship and watch the swirling eddies in our wake, the
most rigid and resolute of us must feel how many currents are playing their part
in the movements of the vessel that bears us onwards."Winston Churchill

I got to thinking today about the phrase “everything happens for a reason”, and realized it is one of those things you say when you have no idea what to think or do because you’re completely adrift. It’s an optimistic thought based on the idea that most things out there are not worse than how you feel right at that moment and you are just hoping that over time things will improve and hindsight will cast your memory in a favorable glow helping you feel that the journey from that bad place led you to somewhere better.

Earlier today I remembered very vividly the day back in April where when I had been laid off and called friends and family to share the news. One particular conversation came to mind. I had called a very dear friend and left her the message. I then heard that that same friend had just the previous night had an accident and fallen in the shower and gotten quite hurt. When I called again to check on her she kept trying to talk about me. I had reassured her I was fine with the statement “I’ll be ok. I know everything happens for a reason and I’m sure this is for the best in the long run. Now how about your face?” I had no idea why things happened at that point and the reality was I felt shell-shocked and rudderless with no idea what was going to happen. It would be a while before I didn’t feel those things anymore. Now I can barely remember those feelings. I mean I can in the way that you can feel a thorn in your foot that you couldn’t get out and calluses have grown around. It’s with a sort of detached almost triumph that I’ve boxed those feelings up and put them away.

I had thought that this was one of the most devastating things that would happen to me. I had fought very hard to remain optimistic and put on the bravest face because I did not want to give anything up about me to anyone but my close friends and family. I had taken it so personally. My work was the biggest thing I was proud of in my life, if not the only thing and I had wrapped myself so much in my job that the elimination of my job, felt like the elimination of part of me. I had no perspective about the many worse things that can and do happen. At that point, I was miserable.

The reality is so clear. It wasn’t personal. It was business. Necessity changed the world I worked in and there was no future for me in the vision they had created. It had nothing to do with my awards, or me – they needed to mix things up to stay afloat and that’s that. And I have been thinking about not that everything happens for a reason, but that everything that happens opens up new possibilities. I have always tried to work on the premise that it’s not what happens to you that’s important but instead what you do as a result with what you're given that matters.

I am looking forward to working again. Working is fun and a great way to learn new things, to challenge yourself, make money, contribute to something, and meet new people. I have discovered that for me, it will not be my primary antidote for boredom, loneliness or insecurity. Those feelings are stirred up internally and need to be dealt with and not masked with business. It’s ok to be bored sometimes. It’s really ok to be lonely sometimes. And everyone is insecure sometimes. Working on myself, and exploring new passions, and working to spend time with people that make me feel good are much more satisfying to my soul than checking my work email at 2:00 on a Sunday afternoon because I don’t think I have anything better to do and not because anything actually important may happen. See the thing is, I want to work and have a job I love and look forward to and get excited about throwing myself into. I love that rush. But I don’t want my work to be the only thing in my life I’m proud of, or excited about, or motivated by. You’re not your job and really, would you want to be? Well if my job was lottery winner or queen of the universe then of course, but otherwise no.

I am looking forward to working again. A new workplace presents an entire world of new possibilities. No one there has seen all my outfits, or my cute shoes. They have not heard all my stories which I’m certain run thin with my existing friends. I am excited to make new friends. My circle could benefit from some new blood and I have some great single friends that might like my potential new friends. At a new office they would know almost nothing about me. It’s a huge opportunity for reinvention.

Does everything happen for a reason? I doubt there is some power out there that saw I needed to reinvent myself into a person who gets my pride from my accomplishments, and my relationships, the quality of people in my life, my projects, my writing, and my resilience. I don’t believe there was some design that recognized I was unhappy and set the gears in motion. Can I say with confidence that I am better because of this? Yes. I made this for myself and wouldn’t change a thing if I could.

Would I say to someone in a similar situation as I found myself in three and a half months ago that everything happens for a reason? No. I would say – what a fantastic opportunity to really reinvent yourself. Will it be really hard at times, of course. Will you likely feel it was worth it at the end. Definitely.

I'm just saying...this is all we're looking for

This wasn't a job I wanted, but I wanted to give props to PRNewswire for their wonderful and prompt response to my resume submission. Thanks guys!

Thank you for completing the online interview for the position with PRNewswire. Your information has been carefully reviewed, and it has been determined that there are others who better fit this job. Should the requirements for this job change or we identify other jobs that are a potential fit, we will follow up with you.
Thanks again for your time and interest,
The Recruiting Team

If I hadn't said persistance was one of my strengths, I would have given up already :)

I still don’t have a job.

Frankly, I’m over looking for one too. Should I admit that out loud? It’s true though. I had to force myself to sit at the computer tonight and look for jobs. I’m not upset about it…just sort of ambivalent. How many “all that’s stopping you is your fear of cold calling” job postings can one girl read in her lifetime? Last week I lucked out because my three job contacts were all related to the two interviews I had last Wednesday. Yep two different companies got to see my interview suit.

I like interviewing. It’s fun to see how if I can make them like me. I’m a middle child – it’s one of our core competencies. Interviewing is pretty fun. Plus I am finding that I may finally be past the point in your career where the interviewers as you about your five year plan. Yeah – I’ve never had a good answer for that question. I’m still interested in both companies although one called me the next day to schedule another interview this week. So far in terms of who likes me best, they win. I’ll keep you posted.

As for tonight’s job search…I am now looking for jobs that make me say to my husband “hey honey…listen to this one”. My top four:
1) Driving a milk route and selling milk and dairy products to home. Do people still do that? Dairy folks get up too early for my taste.
2) Another one says that they are hiring “arborists only” and then later in the posting “no knowledge of trees required”. I can climb trees though and apparently it pays well to do that!
3) My favorite – the listing says “Skeptics need not apply”. Seriously, this one is going to be awesome. The entire website is pictures of this guy at all of these vacation spots, in front of some fancy cars AND includes a shot of a bill from a restaurant where apparently he can eat all the time because he’s made it rich working for himself from home. He must not have had to go through the eight pages of his own website to get the secret…it was too ridiculous to continue.
4) Good news…Little Caesars Pizza wants me (someone should)

Isn't there an internal mechanism in your head that tells you not to send stuff like this?

OK, so this email didn't come to me but it was forwarded to me by a friend who is currently looking for a job. They applied for a job and received the following back from someone associated with the company they were applying for. I don't want to be upset with anyone that responds to a resume submission because of the entire world, I assume there are only three people in the world doing this since for most jobs we apply to we don't ever hear anything...but, I wonder how many people sending emails actually read them to see if they make any sense or at the very least...aren't totally lame before they send them? In this case, they were thanking my friend for their submission and telling them that people in their career path (which was not the right one at all, and had their name weirdly inserted throughout the email, and basically told them that although they were great... Read on and you'll see what I mean.

"Dear (blogger's friend),

I wanted to write to thank you (blogger's friend) for your recent interest in our firm. also wanted to take a chance to advise you (blogger's friend) personally because you have an excellent record. I am very glad that you contacted [us], and I’d like to take this opportunity to give you some advice that I really hope will help your career. First, there is no doubt you have an outstanding record. Your experience appears quite strong in all respects. We feel privileged that Brand Manager professionals such as you (mind you this was not my friend's current job or job they were applying for or even their career) contact us on an ongoing basis. Yet, the ability of recruiters to make placements with these employers depends on various factors. Although your credentials will likely allow you to get several job offers, at this point, despite the relatively high quality of your credentials and experience, we believe that you would best be served by conducting your search on your own rather than through a ecruiter. Given the strength of your record, it is my opinion that you can get severaloffers—but most likely not [through us]. As a Brand Manager (again, really?)professional, I believe you can easily find many positions within the marketingindustry— Account Executive, Commercial Marketing Manager, FieldMarketing Manager, Online Marketing Intern (oooh intern, really?) —to name a few. Here is how I would go about getting a position if I were you: How To Bypass A Recruiting Firm And Apply Directly To Specific Openings. Because we are a recruiting firm, a large part of our job is screening candidates for employers. More importantly, due to the fact that employers pay us to locate candidates, they also give us much more demanding hiring criteria than they might otherwise have if you were to approach them for the same positions on your own. This is especially so in the marketing industry. A marketing firm or an employer looking for a Brand Manager professional is more likely to hire you if you are applying on your own, rather than coming through a recruiting firm. In addition, because we are contractually obligated to only introduce candidates matching an employer's "specific" hiring criteria, we cannot give away the identity of our clients unless someone meets exactly what they are looking for. ... In the future, I also hope you come back to us in your career for assistance with your job search."

Another friend of mine once went to an interview that he thought went super well (except his car got towed while he was inside). He had dressed up in his best suit, chatted about his experience, etc and thought OK we'll see where this goes. The next day he got a 2 page email from the interviewer not only saying he wouldn't be considered but it was this vitriolic diatribe lambasting him for failing to dress up for the interview and criticizing his appearance, lack of work ethic and personal presentation. What the *****!!!? We could only figure the interviewer got him mixed up with someone else but seriously, who does that? Say no thank you and leave it at that.

I once met a guy and exchanged phone numbers that night. He called me the next day to tell me that he was not going to call me again to ask me out and proceeded to explain to me why in ego crushing detail-- I was so amazed I couldn't think of any great comebacks but seriously, what? If it's not a good fit, it's not a good fit. We're OK without your opinions.

Again, an automatic email response that says "Thank you so much for your interest in our (blah, blah, blah). If we find that your qualifications and talents match an opening with our company you will be hearing from us" or "Thank you for your interest. We have decided to go in another direction" is all we need. Some companies do have this. I love you all. To the rest of you...no one who's applying for jobs wants your "professional advice". We're professionals. If you don't want us, fine but leave it at that.

What a difference a week makes

What a week! It’s only Friday but it’s been a very busy and pretty fun week. I am enjoying my temp job and they offered to keep me on as long as I want. They’re really nice and honestly it’s a huge ego boost because they keep telling me how great I am doing. I'm calling to sell memberships to this organization and no one has signed up yet except for the guy I called who it turns out has known my husband's grandfather since the two of them were teenagers. I'm keeping my fingers crossed because I need the money I can hopefully make in commission. I’ve settled on a schedule that I’ll work 15-20 hours a week as long as I want and they will work with my schedule and things that come up.

I had a phone interview on Thursday with a job here in town that I applied for only two weeks ago. I was really nervous but I’m good on the phone and I actually like interviewing and trying to get people to like me – it’s the middle child in me. The more I heard about the job, the more interested I became. it's a very different company and position than I have ever had and that sounds really exciting to me. The good news is – I’ve got an in-person interview next Wednesday! I have been able to avoid planning out my future there too…just get through the next phase. Enjoy the process to quote my friend Cathy.

Today I had a phone interview with a company I absolutely love for another job. This is my second interview with them. OK so for the hour before the guy called me I paced all over the house, mopped the kitchen, and played five video games on my phone. The hour arrived and in the two minutes between when the clock said 10:00 am and he called I was convinced he wouldn’t call at all. Once we started talking, it all went well. Although have you noticed that it's only when you're in the middle of something like that do you catch a mistake in spelling on your resume or you say something stupid and you dwell on that for about an hour! I think it went well too and he did ask me to meet with him in person next week too.

Exciting stuff but I’m exhausted…I’ve been “on” all week! As for now, I’ve applied for two jobs this week, interviewed for two and went to that fateful job fair. Job-seeking girl is checking out for the afternoon. I might be a working girl soon…off to the gym at 3:00 in the afternoon – might not be able to do that much longer.

Have a great weekend!

It's all about the merit badges

I think there should be a merit badge system for job seekers. We each are issued a sash with our layoffs and you get to earn badges for each step of the job search. It would give us goals to reach and maybe if we wear them out we get discounts at restaurants and bars.

Your first badge is your “unemployment badge”. You earn that for filing for unemployment but you can’t wear it until you go to the mandatory orientation for the newly unemployed. This may also be the last time you dress up for a while so it’s a great opportunity for a photo up.

You will earn a badge for “resume” when you get your resume up and going. You’ll undoubtedly feel a surge or pride when you read your resume and see how accomplished, talented and desirable you really are. Shininess of badge is not diminished by lack of response to your fantastic resume.

You can earn a badge for “worst interview”. Even better if this interview is also a meeting for any sort of pyramid scheme. I know of people who are invited to interviews only to sit through presentations about home cleaning, diet supplements, investment opportunities and more.

I believe there may also be a badge for the email lead which you receive unsolicited but sounds promising and eventually involves you following about 47 prompts, offering up your personal contact info and almost certainly ends with a phone call from the University of Phoenix, a satellite installation company, or an email from the attache of the Prince of Nigeria asking you to help him repatriate $100,000 just by providing your bank account info.

There is a special bonus badge available for “job fair”. Job fairs are offered throughout the city and for different employment focuses. I went to one last night that I was invited to through one of the job boards I signed up on. The job fair even required pre-registration so I thought it was going to be really a great opportunity. I should have known. The parking lot was crowded with all of us, each in our suits with our resumes crisp in new manila folders, looking for a good parking spot. The elevator up to the floor with the ballrooms was suit shoulder to suit shoulder wondering what we may find in the ballroom. When I got into the main room, I was surprised and not the least disappointed to find only five exhibitors were there. There were at least fifty of us in the room. There were two insurance companies, one payment processing company, one home security company, and a funeral home. Seriously. I did decide to engage the guy from the payment processing company who talked at length about their market share, infinite territory and possibility, and how you can make six figures. I talked about myself and handed him my resume. He handed it back and said if I was interested I could contact the recruiter which he didn’t really have any control over. There was no interviewing there. None of these jobs even had salaries. Of course you have infinite possibilities when all they offer you is limited training, a business card and no territory - maybe I'm not that kind of self-starter. At least the guy from the funeral home was good looking - infinite possibilities there too since all of us at some point need his services. The more friends you have and people you know, the better you will do with their company since everyone at some point dies. He said that. I said goodbye.

I got my badge. It’s all good. My sash is coming along nicely.

The reality is, all of us job searchers have these ridiculous experiences in common. It's kind of a rite of passage and frankly, if you can keep a sense of humor, you'll probably survive this a lot better. There are always those people that get a giant severance package when they lose their jobs and then get a new job the next day and ride to work on their white unicorn and eat ice cream for lunch and never gain weight. Those people suck.

For the rest of us. It might be taking longer than we had hoped or planned to find our next job. Maybe the time we are spending is showing us that maybe we're not getting what we thought we wanted because there's something even better waiting just a little bit farther down the road.

The unemployed, the underemployed, and me!

Last night I went to a party with some friends and colleagues from my old work. I had been sort of nervous to go. I have kept in touch with most people from my work and seen them individually but going to a group thing really made me feel like it was a “work thing” and having now work, I felt a bit weird about going. Of course it turned out to be fun and fine. My friend is leaving our old department and is literally moving up in the world to the one department at my old company that has the best floor, the best views and furniture in the company Go Kate.

Being unemployed among workers, even my friends made me think. Currently, the Unemployment Rate in Washington is 5.5% (Bureau of Labor Statistics). That means almost 6 people out of every 100 are not working. What unemployment rates fail to calculate and people aren’t seeing is that that number only counts the actual people who are not doing any work, claiming unemployment and searching for work. The actual number of people affected by unemployment is much higher. Underemployment is rampant. Roughly defined, being underemployed means working in a field that does not utilize your advanced skills and knowledge, and/or being partially employed where you are working less hours than you would like. The unemployment rate also doesn’t include the folks for whom unemployment benefits have run out so they are no longer claiming, and/or the folks who have just given up.

I think things are starting to get better. I know I will get a job and also likely may be “underemployed” at some point in the process. However, I do have faith in the process and I know that I will only get what I go out and make happen. I’m proud of the small things I’m doing to make money and really it’s been great experience and as someone told me the other day, I’m now Web 2.0 experienced. So stick it to the person that didn’t think I was savvy enough to work in their marketing department! (I won’t tell you who).

I’m talking about all of this because I have at times flirted with being defensive at the fact that I have no job. I have felt my explanations and work search statistics at the ready just in case someone says something. The reality I am seeing is that the working world has many moving parts and for a while, I’ll be a member of this group. There are apparently hundreds of thousands of us. Most of us are at home because we have no money but sometimes if it’s sunny, you can look out of your office window and see us waving to you. We’re taking walks in the sunshine and maybe treating ourselves to an ice cream at 2 o’clock on a Friday :)

Have a great weekend. I start my temp job on Monday.

When I first moved to Seattle ten years ago, I lived on my brother’s couch and looked for work for about three weeks before I found a job. I had a year and half non-profit experience, a college degree, and a lot of optimism (seen by all EXCEPT the folks at the Bellevue Square Disney Store who told me I seemed too sad to work there). I had a lot of job offers and picked one that sounded fun. I made no money but that was the trade off for no experience.

Ten years later and I’m looking for work. Why is it taking longer? Is it because I am experienced and think I know what I’m looking for? Are my standards too high? Are there just less jobs available as you get higher in the working world. I was thinking about this because I wonder when I talk to people if some of them are thinking and questioning why don’t I have a job. Are they judging me? Is she even looking for a job?? Doesn’t she want a job? Maybe she should lower her standards. (I have to say that is exactly what I thought people were saying when I went to a wedding once without date except exchange “job” for “boyfriend”.).

Why haven’t I found a job yet? Not sure. Well, as I’ve said before many of the jobs I’ve applied for are still open. Thanks much to Beyond.com for sending me a personalized email suggesting I apply for a job I’ve actually already applied to twice and not heard anything. It’s summer and a good one to boot here in Seattle so I think all of the hiring managers are on their boats or on vacation or on their decks and not thinking about work. It’s not the economy except that it is in that I need to make sure I’m focusing on jobs that are up and coming, jobs of the future, and I need to make sure I’m looking in the right places.

My Dad once told me that “You can’t pick who you fall in love with, but you can pick where you are looking”. Maybe the same is true for my next ?? What do I have going for me? I have good people skills and a good personality. Hmmm, I wouldn’t go on a blind date with me either if that was all I said about myself. How about this? I have been able to make money on the Internet which shows I’m resourceful, entrepreneurial, and creative and a bit of a fan of the ridiculous. I’ve managed to live on what I’ve got which shows I’m fiscally responsible. I answer Craigslist and job listings all the time which shows I’m optimistic, resourceful and persistent.

I did want to let you all know that I have sold 5 tips on daytipper.com AND my tips were on their front page today. Go me. Besides that I met a new friend today who asked me if I would be the selling agent for the stuff she and her husband have been storing for three years in storage lockers and sell it for them online! More importantly, I did get a week to two-week project at her office which should pay well too. Not a full time job but a telemarketing campaign where coincidentally I get to be resourceful, optimistic, creative and persistent. I’ll let you know how it goes

Make it Work and other good advice

I realized the other day that I had not updated my resume to include my end date of my job to May, 2008 but instead it says I’m at that job through the present day. This was hardly intentional and speaks to my incredible attention to detail. In fact, I once applied to a job and my cover letter read “I have an incredible attention to detail. Attention to detail”. I am NOT kidding. Not surprisingly, I did not get the job.
It made me think though. Was I better off leaving my resume as is? Is having two months of no job bad for my resume? I am clearly not alone in wondering this because Google the subject and you find no less than 660,000 pages offering some sort of advice about the subject. The best advice that I did find in some of the hundreds of thousands of pages, was “make it work for you”. Isn’t that true about everything?

Time between jobs, time between relationships, time since you left school…there are so many points in your life where you can stop and realize you have “gaps” in what you have been doing. Ask people and their responses could be -- I haven’t read a new book in months. I haven’t gone out with my friends in weeks. I haven’t called my grandmother in a year. When you realize something is missing from your life, you almost immediately begin thinking “I had no idea it had been so long. I should do something to fix that.” (As a note, the words “being” and “begin” actually are the same word just the letters are changed…interesting huh?) Really though, recognizing a gap in your life gives you an opportunity to start something anew, or something completely new. How long has it been since you started something new, or took a risk? Back to “make it work for you”.

Since I’ve been out of work, I have begun writing – a lot and that was something I hadn’t done in probably 13 years! I’ve been doing this blog which has been surprisingly fun. I have also begun being more creative about earning money and I have been trying to take over the world $1 at a time with my writing currently posted at ehow.com (aiming for $1.05/day this month), associatedcontent.com, and now at daytipper.com (2 tips published at $1/each and 12 more pending). My surveys are still going but I’m really shooting for some focus groups this month as they pay good cash and I like to talk for two hours about how I feel about EddieBauer.com’s website, or how Safeway labels their salad dressings. I wish there were most social opportunities where I only had to talk to strangers for an hour and walked away with an envelope full of cash. That doesn’t sound good does it? It’s legal and clean, I promise!

The other question is, how do I want to spin this time when I meet employers. Writing is good. Researching and reading about business trends is good too. I’m also thinking that they won’t necessarily notice if I am honest about the layoff and then say “finding a job that presents as much of an opportunity for me to dive in and contribute like the opportunity you have at your company takes a good amount of looking”. I’ll work on it. But really, the few employers I have spoken with haven’t acted like it’s so awful. In fact, most of them understand.

Until then, I don’t think two months since I worked last is a deal-breaker. It has been a few weeks since I went to the beach, four days since I read my new book, and three days since I had ice cream. All of those may need more immediate attention. Good thing I have got the time.